Recollecting the week of 23rd March

It took time for my thoughts and emotions to settle down. Emotions are curious and unpredictable, and fluctuations abound. Thoughts are strange and varied, skipping from one to the next, some half-formulated, some complete. Some I remember, some I do not, no matter how hard I tried.

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I had just returned from a long and tiring trip from Malaysia. That was on Sunday, 22nd March. The latest update then was that Mr Lee’s condition has further deteriorated from the “critically ill” update on 18th March. Before the trip, I casually mentioned to my sister that I hoped the inevitable will only happen after we returned to Singapore. She asked why. I shrugged.

Maybe it is because I hoped to share this significant moment with the country I came to call home and who accepted me as part of them. I want to share the anguish with my fellow citizens. I recognised that it is a selfish desire, for who can control when one goes and why would one want to do that? I will not try to justify myself, but it also stems from the desire to have Mr Lee around for as long as possible.

I received the news on Monday morning, when I awoke to inform my colleagues and my superior that I have to take urgent sick leave. I was feeling under the weather due to the lack of rest and constant rushing. There it is, as I peered at my mobile, the announcement from the Prime Minister’s Office (PMO) on the passing of Mr Lee Kuan Yew. I quickly sent the email for my leave and then went into the Channel NewsAsia website to confirm the news. It was true.

Settling back in bed, I read the article on Channel NewsAsia, which documented Mr Lee’s life: his education, how he started in politics, his achievements – both personal and for Singapore, and his family life. It was when I got to the part about his policy on bilingualism the tears came forth. I sobbed quietly, afraid to wake my sleeping sister.

I cannot say that I know Mr Lee well. What I know came from history and social studies textbooks. That was the extent of it. However, on Monday itself, Channel NewsAsia was channel of the day.  I sat there (weariness be damned) watching documentary after documentary of the recently passed Mr Lee. THE. WHOLE. DAY. I must say I learnt a lot, about Singapore’s history and the man himself, far more than what I had gotten from my social studies and history classes.

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Much has been said about the late Mr Lee in the past week. I cannot and will not add on, it would be inadequate, and pointless. How do you sum up the years, the achievements, the aspirations, all the blood, sweat and tears in mere words? This is the limitations and inadequacy of language. How do I expound on someone who I do not know personally yet felt such profound anguish for? It would be unqualified.

The evidence speaks for itself. The country, Singapore, is testament. The outpouring of gratitude and thanks from the still grieving nation is confirmation.

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Throughout the past week, the nation has come together to pay their last respects and give tributes at various Community Tribute Sites and at the Parliament House where Mr Lee’s body was lying in state. Queues were long and the waiting time stretched from 2 hours to 10. What have we seen?

An undeterred nation. Even when the queue was suspended, some waited while others returned when it reopened, only to wait some more.

A grateful nation. Tears of grieve. Tears of anguish. Heartbreak. It was a painful yet somehow consoling sight.

A gracious nation. We have heard of the ugly Singaporeans. But the past week has proven that the good Singaporean does exist with kind sharing, untiring volunteering and generous giving.

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The mourning ended with the state funeral on Sunday, 29th March. Many lined the streets under torrential rains, to accompany Mr Lee on his final journey through the nation he toiled for. It was a truly heart-rending picture.

But is it over? I doubt so, not for many of us. During this mourning period, I see that we can indeed become a better Singapore, a united Singapore. I have the utmost confidence that we will make it and bring Singapore through to another brilliant 50 years.


Here’s to SG100.

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