My head always wins.
I supposed it is the loss of my usual routine, my perfectly timetabled day that drove me insane. My timetable was pretty simple.
Wake up, wash up, change, get to work, breakfast (or not, depends on whether I'm doing the intermittent fast), tackle emails, lunch out, tackle more emails, leave office, go home, dinner, some exercise (if I'm in the mood), bathe, Bible reading, sleep.
That's it. Some days I'll have social activities planned after work, but mostly it's like that. Now that I am working from home, my routine is messed up. I wake up later than usual, never have to change and step out of the house, and it's straight to work. Then it's all the way till evening and when I end work, there's no stepping out of the office, no commute back home. It's out of my room and straight to dinner. It's not the missing commutes that I miss. It is just that my routine, one that I have been repeating daily for almost 12 years, have changed drastically.
You may think that this is a good opportunity to use all the time in the world for the things I want to do. But honestly, I've seem to have lost control of time. It's slipping by me soundlessly, precious hours and minutes trickling down a black hole, never to be recovered. I feel the guilt, I really do. But I am helpless about it. I would very much like to use this period to hunker down and be a task-busting bitch (and EXERCISE), but all I am is a restless, irritated, self-pitying ass. I've pretty much done nothing much but moped around the house.
(add to that a failure of a video interview... and you've a disappointed, downtrodden, disillusioned ditz)
I have tried to keep myself productively occupied. I participated in the #30daybiblelettering challenge on Instagram for the first few days. Then I added the #circuitsketchbreak challege to the mix. And suddenly, I got overwhelmed (I am also a bit conscious that I seemed a bit needy to my insta followers because I am suddenly bombarding my feed). I stopped both challenges *checks date* for two days now. I am much too lazy to return to it.
Anyhow, I don't have any solution to my current state. I am helpless (and no less frustrated) against my procrastination, my restlessness, my irritability. I know, in my head, that exercise is one solution (you know, endorphins-producing and all that), but my body is unwilling to cooperate. Totally unwilling. Even my head sometimes dissuades me from changing into my gear and walking to my nearby block just to get some fresh air. It tells me that everyone is exercising now, so it's crowded at the parks and it knows that I dislike crowds. It knows that I dislike being seen through my facade as someone fit. I'm just trying to be an exercise-wannabe when truly I am an unmotivated sloth.
My head always wins.
Wake up, wash up, change, get to work, breakfast (or not, depends on whether I'm doing the intermittent fast), tackle emails, lunch out, tackle more emails, leave office, go home, dinner, some exercise (if I'm in the mood), bathe, Bible reading, sleep.
That's it. Some days I'll have social activities planned after work, but mostly it's like that. Now that I am working from home, my routine is messed up. I wake up later than usual, never have to change and step out of the house, and it's straight to work. Then it's all the way till evening and when I end work, there's no stepping out of the office, no commute back home. It's out of my room and straight to dinner. It's not the missing commutes that I miss. It is just that my routine, one that I have been repeating daily for almost 12 years, have changed drastically.
You may think that this is a good opportunity to use all the time in the world for the things I want to do. But honestly, I've seem to have lost control of time. It's slipping by me soundlessly, precious hours and minutes trickling down a black hole, never to be recovered. I feel the guilt, I really do. But I am helpless about it. I would very much like to use this period to hunker down and be a task-busting bitch (and EXERCISE), but all I am is a restless, irritated, self-pitying ass. I've pretty much done nothing much but moped around the house.
(add to that a failure of a video interview... and you've a disappointed, downtrodden, disillusioned ditz)
I have tried to keep myself productively occupied. I participated in the #30daybiblelettering challenge on Instagram for the first few days. Then I added the #circuitsketchbreak challege to the mix. And suddenly, I got overwhelmed (I am also a bit conscious that I seemed a bit needy to my insta followers because I am suddenly bombarding my feed). I stopped both challenges *checks date* for two days now. I am much too lazy to return to it.
Anyhow, I don't have any solution to my current state. I am helpless (and no less frustrated) against my procrastination, my restlessness, my irritability. I know, in my head, that exercise is one solution (you know, endorphins-producing and all that), but my body is unwilling to cooperate. Totally unwilling. Even my head sometimes dissuades me from changing into my gear and walking to my nearby block just to get some fresh air. It tells me that everyone is exercising now, so it's crowded at the parks and it knows that I dislike crowds. It knows that I dislike being seen through my facade as someone fit. I'm just trying to be an exercise-wannabe when truly I am an unmotivated sloth.
My head always wins.
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