Thoughts on... happiness

I have been reading a few articles of The Conversation’s series On Happiness, which is on… obviously… happiness.

One of the article questions our obsession and love (yes, love) for happiness. Indeed, many of us feel that we should be happy, that happiness is our human and basic right. We do everything we can to be happy, to lead a happy life. We pursue happiness relentlessly, with a vigour that shames even the most ambitious procrastinator. Whole moneymaking industries have been created on happiness. Our lust for happiness is insatiable.

In the process, we begin to place happiness on what we think makes us happy. We think food can make us happy. We think buying things can make us happy. We believe filling our lives with purposeful activities make us happy. We seek various religious or spiritual channels that might make us eternally happy. We believe that having a fulfilling and meaningful life makes us happy.

Frankly, the more you chase happiness the less happy you become. You get tired, you get weary, you get sore, and eventually, you get disheartened. Then everything loses its meaning when you are not happy and you stop chasing entirely, sinking into an even deeper funk.

Happiness is elusive.

All these attention and efforts to be happy begs the question:

Why is it so important to be happy?

Asking this opens the floodgates to a whole barrage of other questions like:

• Why do we feel the need to be happy?
• Why do we feel entitled to be happy?
• Must we be happy all the time?
• Do we even need to be happy?
• Is it even possible to be happy all the time?

(There are fine differences between each question)

The only question that I can answer firmly and with conviction is the last one. No, it is impossible to be happy all the time. Not if you are human. Being happy is a feeling. Being is temporal. Feelings do not last forever.

(Being sad is also temporal although we always find that being happy is short and fleeting but being is long lasting and ongoing)

Suppose that happiness is really just an intangible concept with no form to grasp onto. Happy = feeling, happiness = idea. By acknowledging that happiness is simply a concept, an idea, how then do we define ‘happiness’?

Obviously, there is the shared preconceived notion that a combination of wealth, good health, purpose in life, and good relationships brings happiness. Nevertheless, how we really define happiness differs between you and me.

I have been doing some on-and-off thinking for the past few days. What is happiness to me? How do I define it? What is my version of being happy?

Finally, I came up with this:

• To be debt-free (an alternate version of wealth I suppose)
• To be disease-free (ditto for good health)
• To be free from worry and fear
• To be free from an archaic work life (my purpose in life?)

Basically, it is freedom from certain systems and boundaries that I seek. However, that being said, ideas and concepts are fluid and changes with time. My version will change with the times, but I believe the basis will more or less be the same.

How does my version translate to happiness for me? It does not. Right off the bat I can tell you that it will not make me happy all the time. That is my point exactly. I do not need to be happy all the time. I do not need to search for happiness and I do not need to chase happiness. I believe that happiness comes from within and if the ‘burdens’ of life are lifted a little from my shoulders; that I do not need to worry or fear that much in life, it would be easier for me to feel happy intrinsically (without extrinsic factors).

If I am not happy for any reason at all, it is only because I do not have to be. I will not stress over it. I can be sad. I can be melancholic. I can be mean and short-tempered. I can be downright angry. It simply does not make sense to be upset over ‘not being happy’. Obviously, one can argue that it is okay to be stressed and upset over not being happy as well. Yes you can… but why do it over trying to be happy? Good days and bad days abound, but if you can get through all days with a calm and settled mindset, that should be enough. Abandon the unnecessary idea of needing to be happy. It can never be found outside of you.

Just my two cents on the topic.

Read The Conversation’s series: On Happiness

Other takes on happiness:

Stop Trying to Be Happy by Mark Manson

More to life than the pursuit of happiness by Lee Wei Ling