Thoughts on... labeling

 Labeling brings about certain expectations, certain images, certain typecasting, of a role that you are supposed to play or be.

Labeling is detrimental to us as individuals, yet collectively it is an advantage; for people to group together socially, to recognize each other’s like-mindedness, to have a social grouping to belong to. Birds of the same feather flock together. But of course, a flock of birds is not entirely homogeneous. There will be some diversity. No two people can have entirely similar interests or quirks. That would be a catastrophe, resulting in an inevitably boring and meaningless existence.

However, when labeled, you are being type casted. And that is not a very pleasant experience. When I was in my teenage years (oh so long ago!), I accidentally overheard a popular boy in class calling me a ‘nerd’. He didn’t mean for me to hear it, but I heard it anyway and my brains exploded. At that time, ‘nerd’ wasn’t a term associated with cool images of bespectacled (Raybans) kids wearing tee-shirts emblazoned with witty slogans like “Nerds rule now. Suck on it”. ‘Nerd’ brought to mind spotty kids with bowl-cut hair, gold-rimmed spectacles, pants pulled up high above the waist and clean white shoes. Well, here I am stereotyping what a ‘nerd’ is, but seriously, it is what it is at that time.

Admittedly I was never part of the popular gang (yet a label for a collective set of individuals whose goals in life is to be popular). But I didn’t look at myself as a ‘nerd’ either. I thought I was just quiet and well, book-loving. Bookworm? Yes, I proudly proclaim. But ‘nerd’? Never! Hearing that term referred to me caused me to believe that I was uncool and that I must be terribly boring. That must have triggered my insecurity and self-consciousness. I mean I wasn’t the most outgoing and outspoken person. I am quiet and I am shy. And I do wear gold-rimmed specs and possess an oily wok of a face. But after that unfortunate incident, I dare not socialize anymore. I dare not speak to anyone from the popular gang and I kept my circle of friends small. Everything I do, every action I make, I will reflect upon and wonder if those actions made me seemed more ‘nerdy’. My reaction is severe, but limited only to the confines of the classroom.

Outside of class, the label didn’t affect me. Because no one outside knew about the label tagged to me. I played basketball after school with some of the seniors and my friends. I hung out with my friends at church. I was still shy and quiet, but at least I don’t ponder over everything I did and questioned if that made me ‘nerdier’. On hindsight, I shouldn’t have bothered so much because popular people don’t spend their waking moments thinking about ‘nerds’. ‘Nerds’ do not have a place in their thoughts. And I had it easy; I only got labeled a ‘nerd’. I wasn’t bullied. I wasn’t called nastier terms. I wasn’t kicked around or beaten up in some abandon shed. Being labeled ‘nerd’ was probably the least hurtful and least menacing option. I am a total wuss for letting it affect me the way it did.

But I was affected. It did not only make me insecure and self-conscious, it also made me angry and indignant. Who are they to give me a label? I got angry at the popular kids. I told myself never to be like that. I never wanted to be popular (not that I ever did anyway) and I generally avoided the mainstream. When all the kids started carrying tiny Outdoor bag packs (remember that trend?) around, I carried a Converse one. Besides, those Outdoor bags were terribly expensive and so small that it could not fit all the textbooks in. Of course, that was the point; a bag so small so that you don’t have to bring all the textbooks, which makes you seem cooler for being a rebel. Then there was the Japanese school girl derived knee-high socks trend. All the girls in school started pulling their socks up to their knees. It was ridiculous. Their socks would get loose and almost every other minute was spent bending down to pull the socks back up. I mean, they look good but it is just not practical for everyday school life.

So, just like that, I deviated (slightly) from the mainstream. I became a ‘geek’ with a penchant for gadgets, a self-proclaim ‘book lover’, and was lovingly labeled ‘pheasant’ (double tsks), ‘mountain [Alishan] girl’ (triple tsks) and ‘hipster’ (once) by my friends for my style and taste in brands. But label me all you want now, I couldn’t be bothered (except for reputation damaging labels). I wasn’t ‘cool’ by definition, but at least I wasn’t ‘mainstream’, which in my mind means ‘normal’, ‘average’ and ‘BORING’. And I definitely wasn’t aiming to be ‘popular’.

Label if you must, but be kind about it or don’t say it out loud. Only give labels that you think are truthful and reflects that individual’s personality. Never label out of spite or to promote your position (i.e. to make yourself more popular). It might just come back to bite you.


P/s: It so happened that when I decided to post this, I was also reading an article on 15 things that you should give up to be happy. Read point #10. Read the other points. Read the whole article. It’s good.